So there we were, entering a new calendar year. A few months removed from breast implant surgery and one month removed from the revision of that implant surgery. Three operations inside of seven months, a lot of recoveries, a ton of emotion, memories we will want to forget and to remember. But on this particular day Debbie decided it was time to look back. I just happened to catch her in the act…
#3, For Debbie It’s a Good Read
Written Jan 5, 2013 7:06am
“If you cherish a vision in your heart, you will realize it” – James Allen.
I read this line the other day… only to realize it just happened! Debbie was sitting in bed with her iPad (she loves that device), and as I glanced over I saw her looking at the Caringbridge website. It was probably three days after my last post. But she wasn’t looking at the most recent entry, nor was she glancing at the guestbook, she was reading an older journal entry. Part of my vision, was now reality.
It might not seem like a big deal, but consider the core reason behind all of this. When Deb was diagnosed I made a conscious decision to document her battle against breast cancer, without obviously being able to predict the outcome. Knowing what this site was all about, and having seen Debbie and her sister write the updates on my father-in-law when he battled the same – and lost – just three years earlier, it was also not an easy decision. I felt in my heart all would be ok, but in life we all know sometimes G-d tosses a curveball or two. Hell, he already had. Still I wanted to make sure for myself, for my girls (who don’t really know about these entries) and for Debbie, there would be a way to look back and see what this is really all about.
We were lucky. There’s that word again. And in the end, it’s all going to be “ok”. But when I saw Debbie reading a post back from the beginning of the journey, I knew in some ways we had come full circle. She was able to look back at her very personal struggle, and now she has a place to go to realize just how far she’s come. When you are in the heat of the battle it’s easy to miss everything that’s going on inside you and around you. As you move from doctor to doctor, from surgery to surgery, or from milestone to milestone, its natural to focus only on the present and the future and forget the past. But the past is what, from time to time, should be remembered. We learn our greatest lessons from how we face and overcome adversity. But you can’t just think it, you need to ink it. If someone hadn’t written it down, some of history’s greatest moments would be lost. The written word is worth it. Bible, anyone?
Watching Debbie take a look back at her personal history, the facts on what transpired and my perspective on it all, is truly a vision I held in my heart. I don’t know if you call it a “gift” or not, but it is certainly my way of giving back to Debbie. How often she will do it, I have no idea, besides we are not yet at the finish line, if that is truly ever possible. Certainly there will be a point, probably sometime in March if all goes well after the final stage, we might declare at least physically, completion. We’ll see. The emotional side of all of this stays with you forever, you might not get over it, but you will get on with it.
We are getting on with it and Deb continues to show strength and a great outlook on everything. She looks great, feels good and is even getting some garments fitted to accentuate the positive 🙂 Well deserved. Also well deserved, her opportunity to look back with pride on what she has accomplished, from the scary, uncertain times of last spring to every moment of triumph and setback since then. I hope she gains even more confidence, pride and strength from reliving the journey – and how well she has handled everything. One day I would like Sophie and Emily to sit down and read it as well. How could it not make them even more proud and inspired, by the woman they are lucky enough to have as their Mom. I also hope and plan for this journal to be more than that – the documentation of a journey and inspiration to others who are going through the same. An emotional guide and a charitable contribution. I’m working on that. There can be a positive outcome, it’s all in how you look at it, twist it, turn it, spin it, and find a way to fight through it. Find your fight and fight to overcome.
In the end the “vision in your heart” is the key – it’s love. It’s what gives you the fight – to have others to fight for – to be an inspiration – to give back – to be thankful for what you’ve got, and be thankful for others who support you and keep you moving forward. The benefits of facing true adversity helps you, and others around you, to become more. If you truly work at it, you will become more than you ever thought possible.
Me and my girl, we’re on the way.
Thanks for caring, Mark
Remember the Guestbook is always open: share a thought at www.caringbridge.org (visit site: debbiebrodinsky)