We were finally back home, post-surgery, and as far as we were concerned, cancer-free. Though pathology tests would not be back for several days, there was little doubt Debbie’s sacrifice to have a double mastectomy, had made the difference. Cancer was history.
You can read these posts and more at
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/debbiebrodinsky/journal
There is a Guestbook there and you are free to share your thoughts, or your story, as we count down to the one-year anniversary of being Cancer-Free on May 10th. I encourage participation since the plan is to publish very soon. Right now, we continue with #7 of the Top Ten most significant moments of our journey so far…
Dancing with the Devil
Written May 11, 2012 11:27pm
Nice to be home. Deb is sleeping. Took another pain pill about an hour ago, (there are many pills to take), then off to sleep. The hope is that she can make it through the night, peacefully. The hope is that every day gets a little bit better. The drain of emptying the drains, which hang from each side of her body, gets a little bit easier each time. I noticed tonight when it was my turn for the procedure how Deb closed her eyes for a time. Though I couldn’t see, I knew behind those closed eyes was sadness, for having had to give up a part of herself to the beast. It’s never easy to fight, even when you win. And make no mistake we have won, but not without tremendous sacrifice.
I believe cancer is like dancing with the Devil. In this case the Devil went down… but not to Georgia. He’s done. But there are more battles out there, battles yet to be fought and won, fought and lost. Cancer seems to force sacrifice whether you win or lose. You give up part, or all of yourself. Few are left unscarred, yet underneath you also get something back. A part of you you might not have known existed, a part of you which reached back for something extra, that refused to give in, that stood its ground and win or lose, you know, you are proud because you fought like a champ. Deb’s a champion, a winner, and the future is now so bright. But you will always look back and remember.
You’ll remember a time before you were told it was time to fight, remember a time when you were scared and helpless, remember a time when all you wanted to do was turn and run, rather then face the tough choice, remember a time when doctor visits, tests, biopsies, pathology, surgery and recovery, were something that “other people” had to deal with.
Until it was your turn.
So you remember, but you also look forward. You grasp hold of the new attidude and outlook you have on life, and run with it. You never forget, but now you have earned the right to make new memories. You get to live another day, many, many more days, with pride. I’m so proud of Debbie. She made the sacrifice. She showed the courage. She, for the sake of her family, gave up to get.
So F*ck Cancer. F*ck the Devil. Celebrate Life. We will.
Get ready.
Thanks for caring.
Mark